Why is the worst thing you can do is try to get rid of a panic attack? Well, to put it simply, what you resist, persist.  If you fight the panic attack, for instance, telling yourself “Oh no! I feel a panic attack coming on! How can I get rid of this?! Push it down, ignore it, go away!” Well, guess what that does? It increases anxiety.  Anxiety being the sensation of high arousal (i.e., being outside of your optimal arousal zone). 

Change can feel overwhelming, even when it’s for the better. Whether you’re navigating a career shift, ending or beginning a relationship, moving to a new city, or undergoing an internal transformation, the uncertainty that comes with change often creates resistance. It’s not uncommon to feel pulled in two directions—part of you wants to grow, while another part longs for the comfort of what’s familiar.

Life doesn’t always go according to plan. Sometimes it unravels completely. A job ends, a relationship shifts, a loved one gets sick, or a sense of stability just… disappears. In these moments, it’s easy to feel like you’re losing your grip. Like you’re stuck in a storm with no way to steer.

At the heart of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is often one overwhelming force: the need for certainty. Whether it’s about your safety, health, morality, identity, or relationships, OCD convinces you that you must know—right now, beyond all doubt—that everything is okay. This craving for certainty doesn’t bring peace; it fuels anxiety, compulsions, and exhaustion. But what if the goal isn’t to feel certain, but to make room for uncertainty and live well anyway?

If you live with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or experience intrusive thoughts, you already know how exhausting and discouraging it can be to try and “make them go away.” These thoughts are often intense, disturbing, and unwanted. And yet, the harder you try to eliminate them, the stronger and more persistent they seem to become. You might find yourself stuck in endless loops of rumination, compulsive behavior, or avoidance—anything to find relief from the mental noise.

Intrusive thoughts can be intense, unwanted, and deeply unsettling. They seem to come out of nowhere—images, impulses, or ideas that feel wrong or even dangerous. You might be folding laundry when suddenly your mind flashes a violent image. Or you’re driving and your brain whispers a question like, “What if I swerved into oncoming traffic?”

If you’re exploring options for treating obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), you’ve likely come across two prominent approaches: Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Both have demonstrated effectiveness in reducing the grip OCD can have on daily life—but they take quite different routes to get there.

When you live with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), your thoughts can feel overwhelming, intrusive, and emotionally charged. You might find yourself gripped by mental loops you can’t seem to escape—thoughts about harming someone, violating your moral code, or catastrophic outcomes that could happen if you don’t do something “just right.” These thoughts don’t ask for your attention—they demand it. And trying to fight them only seems to make them stronger.

When relationships feel strained, it’s tempting to focus on fixing the other person—or escaping the discomfort altogether. We want our partners to stop triggering us, our friends to validate us, or our family members to finally see things our way. But what if improving your relationships had more to do with clarifying your values and learning to tolerate discomfort, than with changing anyone else?

It’s easy to lose yourself in relationships—especially when love becomes entangled with people-pleasing, over-functioning, or dependency. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a path toward healthier relationships by helping you stay grounded in your identity, values, and sense of purpose—even while deeply connected to someone else.

Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable—especially if you’re used to prioritizing others’ needs over your own. For many, the simple act of saying “no” brings up anxiety, guilt, and even shame. You may worry that drawing a line will make you seem selfish, unkind, or unloving. You might fear disappointing someone you care about or imagine that setting a limit will trigger rejection, conflict, or abandonment.

All relationships—whether romantic, familial, or platonic—come with moments of frustration, disappointment, and unmet expectations. Even the healthiest partnerships will encounter miscommunication, emotional distance, or habits that get under each other’s skin. Often, in response to this discomfort, people fall into a familiar pattern: trying to “fix” their partner, change themselves, or control the relationship dynamic altogether.

Many people go to great lengths to avoid conflict. Whether it’s brushing something off with “It’s fine” or bottling up feelings until they explode, this tendency often comes from a deep fear of rocking the boat. For many of us, the word “conflict” stirs anxiety, guilt, or a memory of a painful confrontation we swore we’d never repeat.

Many people tie their self-worth to external validation—seeking approval from others, achievements, or social status. While praise and recognition can feel good, relying on them for self-worth makes confidence fragile. When self-worth is determined by external factors, it becomes dependent on things that are out of your control, leading to instability and anxiety. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a different approach: building self-worth from within by living in alignment with your values, rather than chasing external validation.

The belief that “I’m not good enough” is one of the most common and limiting thought patterns people experience. It can hold you back from relationships; career opportunities; and personal growth. It is a deeply ingrained thought that often arises from past experiences, negative feedback, or societal conditioning. Many people spend years trying to fight this belief, only to find themselves stuck in an ongoing battle with their thoughts.

Many people spend their lives chasing external validation, societal expectations, or short-term comfort, only to feel unfulfilled. It’s easy to fall into the trap of reacting to life rather than intentionally shaping it. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a different approach: values-based living—focusing on what truly matters to you rather than being ruled by fears, doubts, or external pressures.

Have you ever felt trapped by your own thoughts, as if they dictate who you are? Thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “I always mess things up” can feel overwhelming and deeply personal. They seem to have a firm grip on how we see ourselves and how we navigate life. However, what if you could take a step back and realize that your thoughts are not reality, nor are they an accurate reflection of who you are?

It’s not uncommon to feel like a stranger to yourself. Maybe you’re going through the motions of life—checking all the boxes, meeting expectations, playing the roles you’re supposed to play—yet something feels off. There’s a quiet but persistent sense that you’re not really living your life. You’re performing it. And underneath that performance is a deeper question: Who am I, really?

Trauma is a profound and life-altering experience. It can leave survivors feeling lost, disconnected, and overwhelmed by emotions that seem unbearable. Many people develop coping mechanisms to escape this discomfort, such as avoidance, suppression, or numbing behaviors. While these strategies may provide temporary relief, they often prolong suffering and prevent deep healing.

When you’ve experienced trauma, avoiding reminders of it can feel like the only way to cope. While avoidance may provide temporary relief, it often reinforces fear and keeps you stuck. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a different approach—one that helps you build resilience by facing your emotions with openness and intention.

Trauma therapy often focuses on revisiting painful memories, processing emotions, and restructuring negative thoughts. While these approaches can be effective for many people, they are not the only options available. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers an alternative perspective—one that prioritizes psychological flexibility, mindfulness, and moving toward a meaningful life, even in the presence of trauma-related distress.

Trauma leaves deep emotional imprints that can feel impossible to escape. Many people find themselves stuck in cycles of avoidance, intrusive memories, or overwhelming emotions; these patterns can create a sense of powerlessness, as though life is being lived in reaction to past events rather than in pursuit of a meaningful future. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) provides a different path—one that helps you process trauma while reclaiming your ability to live a fulfilling and values-driven life.

Trauma can make life feel rigid and limited. Many trauma survivors respond by avoiding triggers, shutting down emotions, or developing rigid thinking patterns that make it hard to move forward. This is a natural response to overwhelming experiences, as the mind and body work to protect you from further harm. However, while these coping mechanisms may provide short-term relief, they often come at the cost of long-term well-being, limiting your ability to engage with life fully.

When struggling with depression, it’s natural to want to feel better. The desire to escape sadness, numbness, or hopelessness can be overwhelming, leading to an ongoing search for relief. But paradoxically, the constant pursuit of feeling better can sometimes lead to frustration, avoidance, and even deeper despair. The more we try to control our emotions, the more they seem to control us.

Do you ever find yourself stuck in a loop of negative thoughts, replaying the same worries, doubts, or regrets over and over? These thought loops can be exhausting and prevent you from fully engaging in your life. They can rob you of joy, drain your energy, and keep you trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and anxiety.

When working with clients, at some point, we get down to brass tax.  If one is not adhering to the three ingredients for transformation, not much will change.  In fact, you will keep getting what you have always gotten; no matter how much insight you may have garnered.  So, let’s not waste anymore time what are they?

Depression can make life feel empty and meaningless. It’s more than just sadness—it can drain your energy, cloud your thinking, and make even small tasks seem overwhelming. When every day feels like a struggle, it’s easy to believe that nothing will ever change. The weight of depression can be crushing, making it seem as if you’re stuck in a cycle of hopelessness.

Anxiety can feel overwhelming, making it difficult to focus, relax, or take action. When anxiety strikes, it often pulls you into a cycle of overthinking, avoidance, and distress. While it’s tempting to try to eliminate anxious thoughts and feelings, fighting them often makes them stronger. The more you resist, the more they persist. However, rather than battling anxiety directly, you can learn to relate to it differently.

Depression has a way of turning your inner dialogue against you. Thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “I should be doing better” can become overwhelming, making it even harder to take action. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) teaches that self-compassion is not just a luxury—it’s a crucial part of breaking free from depression.

Depression can feel like being trapped in quicksand (or better yet, swimming through peanut butter!). The harder you struggle, the deeper you sink. It’s exhausting, frustrating, and often feels hopeless. When motivation is low, and negative thoughts take over, even basic tasks can seem overwhelming. The idea of moving forward may feel like an impossible dream.

When anxiety becomes overwhelming, it can feel like it’s taken over your whole life—racing thoughts, tightness in your chest, restlessness, and a sense that something bad is just around the corner. In these moments, it’s easy to believe the only way forward is to somehow “get rid of” the anxiety. You might try to distract yourself, avoid the source of your stress, or talk yourself out of feeling the way you do.

Stress is an unavoidable part of life. Whether it’s work deadlines, personal conflicts, or unexpected events, stress will always find a way to creep into daily life. However, how you respond to stress makes all the difference. Many people try to escape stress through avoidance, distraction, or numbing behaviors—binge-watching TV, endlessly scrolling social media, overeating, or even excessive planning and organizing to gain a false sense of control. While these strategies might provide temporary relief, they often backfire, making stress feel even more overwhelming when it inevitably returns.

Overthinking can feel like an endless loop—your mind replays conversations, second-guesses decisions, and obsesses over worst-case scenarios. This mental habit can lead to anxiety, stress, and indecision, making even the simplest choices feel overwhelming. While some degree of reflection is natural, chronic overthinking can interfere with your ability to enjoy life, make decisions, and take action. Fortunately, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers practical strategies to help you break free from overthinking and focus on living more intentionally.

Have you ever felt trapped by your own thoughts? Anxiety has a way of making us believe that our worries and fears are absolute truths. When we become entangled in anxious thinking, our minds create stories that seem so real and convincing that we react to them as if they are undeniable facts. This can lead to a cycle of fear, avoidance, and emotional suffering.

Many people approach behavioral health with a mindset of control—trying to eliminate negative thoughts, suppress emotions, or fix every problem. However, this constant struggle often backfires, making distress even worse. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers an alternative approach: rather than fighting your inner experiences, acceptance can help you move forward with greater ease and clarity.

Anxiety and stress can feel like a constant storm, making it difficult to think clearly, take action, or even enjoy life. These emotions can be overwhelming, leaving you feeling stuck in a cycle of overthinking and avoidance. Many people attempt to fight or suppress their anxiety, hoping it will disappear. However, this approach often backfires, making the feelings stronger and more persistent.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a powerful, evidence-based approach designed to help individuals develop psychological flexibility—the ability to adapt to life’s challenges while staying true to personal values. At Bydand Therapy, we incorporate ACT principles to help clients navigate difficult thoughts and emotions while taking meaningful action toward a fulfilling life.

If you’ve tried traditional talk therapy but felt like it wasn’t getting you anywhere, you’re not alone. Many people find themselves stuck in endless analysis without real change. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a different approach—one that focuses on action and transformation rather than just talking through problems.

Have you ever felt stuck in your own head—like your thoughts, worries, or painful memories are running the show? Maybe you’ve tried to push them away, distract yourself, or pretend they’re not there, only to find that they come back louder. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many people find themselves caught in this internal tug-of-war, trying to escape their inner experiences.

It is not about finding a singular meaning for life, but constantly seeking meaning as life happens.  Not letting life happen to us, but dancing with life.  

Regardless of whatever is going on in your life Victor once said:

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

I will probably never have to go through a concentration camp.  Or suffering in anyway close to that.  Yeah, the Marine Corps was hard, but not that hard.  But putting comparisons aside, pain is pain.  And when anyone is feeling pain the goal is not to find the nirvana of singular meaning for life, but constantly seeking meaning as life happens.  ITs about being perpetually focused with the potential meaning inherent and dormant in all the circumstances one has to face throughout his or her life. 

I truly believe the people designing them know what they are doing – it is addictive.  I just had to go cold turkey, and I am not going back.

Chronic pain can feel like it takes over everything—your energy, your plans, your identity. It’s easy to feel like pain has become who you are. But Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a different perspective: pain is part of your experience, not the definition of who you are.

Doctor visits. Lab results. Unexplained symptoms. For many people, the unknowns of medical situations spark intense anxiety. Medical anxiety isn’t just fear of a diagnosis—it’s fear of losing control, not being heard, or imagining the worst. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a compassionate, actionable approach to help you stay grounded and move forward—even in uncertainty.

When pain becomes a daily part of life, it’s natural to want it gone. We try everything to fight it—medications, rigid routines, endless treatments. But what if the constant battle with pain is making things worse? Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers an alternative: stop fighting and start living.

Living with a chronic illness or ongoing health issue can feel like a constant balancing act between caring for your body and coping with emotional ups and downs. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) introduces a powerful tool for this challenge: psychological flexibility—the ability to stay open, present, and committed to values-based action, even in the face of pain or illness.

Living with chronic pain can be exhausting—physically, emotionally, and mentally. Traditional approaches often focus on eliminating pain, but what happens when the pain doesn’t go away? Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers another path: helping you live well despite pain by building a more meaningful and flexible life.

Here’s something you might call crazy: In search of peace and a deeper connection with life, I felt a spiritual nudge to pick up the guitar. I was not good, far from it. But embracing the awkward, the out-of-tune, and the outright embarrassing moments became part of the journey.

Early in my career as a therapist, I had a moment with a client that left a lasting impression. He had just enrolled in our in-person therapy program, his voice carrying a sense of newfound hope. With conviction, he declared that this time, therapy was going to work. What made him so certain? He believed that being physically present with his therapist was the missing key—the factor that had been absent in his past virtual therapy experiences, which he felt had failed him. To him, success was tied to physical proximity.

Transformation is a concept that has fascinated humanity for centuries. Whether it’s the transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly, a lump of coal into a dazzling diamond, or a person overcoming adversity to become their best self, the process of transformation is a powerful and awe-inspiring phenomenon.

Anxiety is a familiar companion for many of us, but it doesn’t have to be an adversary we’re trying to defeat. Think of it more like a powerful ally, a force that can help us transform our lives to align with our values and dreams. Instead of battling anxiety, the key is to understand it, acknowledge its presence, and harness its energy for positive change.

Life’s toughest moments can feel like they leave permanent marks—emotional scars that linger beneath the surface and shape how we see ourselves, others, and the world around us. You may find yourself stuck in survival mode, trying to carry on while old wounds flare up at unexpected times. Maybe you’re exhausted from pretending everything is fine or frustrated by how deeply something from the past continues to affect your present. But here’s the truth: even the darkest experiences can hold the potential for growth. With the right support, you can harness the transformative power of your trauma—not by erasing it, but by integrating it and moving forward with strength, clarity, and self-compassion.

Give up trying to change people, places, and things; and even your thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Forget about it.

The only reason I re-enrolled back into high school was because of a family that took me in.  Troy and Lina were devout Christians.  At the time, I had become tired of religion, but their unconditional love for me and their belief in me allowed me to not only tolerate Christians, but also graduate high school.