Colt (00:00.0)
Hello, my name is Colt and I’m a therapist out here in Cote d’Aumier, Yellowstone. And I also work with people in California, but internationally I work as a Bowen Family Systems coach. Really what I do is I help people move from just an individual approach, which can be helpful, but it’s really limited in scope. So thinking in systems, starting with your family system and your origins takes transformation to the next level.
Colt (00:31.662)
That’s where I really help people coach on. And these systems shape your core beliefs and behaviors, often running on autopilot, but understanding and addressing these dynamics, you can move beyond reactivity and align your life with your values, creating meaningful and lasting change. So with that in mind today, what I wanted to do is read from strengthening my recovery. This is meditations for adult children of alcoholics slash dysfunctional families.
Colt (01:00.686)
Today I’m reading from Tolerating the Unacceptable, is dated for June 22nd. Tolerating the Unacceptable. We will see how our low self-esteem has us judging ourselves mercilessly, giving others the benefit of the doubt and tolerating inappropriate behavior. Many of us were taught that it was virtuous to put up with whatever was doled out. Shut up about
Colt (01:29.836)
whatever was going on and deny our feelings in the process. This led us to doubt our own perceptions, which led us to doubt our self worth. Because we actually survived, some of us interpreted our ability to deal with unacceptable situations as resilience. Unfortunately, we didn’t learn that it was acceptable to set boundaries and limits, that it was okay to say no to unacceptable behavior.
Colt (01:59.256)
This is what we learn in ACA. We don’t have to be stoic or pretend that things don’t bother us when they do. We don’t have to apologize for stuff that’s not ours or feel ashamed when we feel triggered. We have the right to our reality, our experiences, and our feelings. With the help of our recovery support system, we are now learning to trust to
Colt (02:29.026)
feel and to talk. This is a wonderful way to live. We can surround ourselves with people who listen to us, acknowledge our feelings. We can be more human, vulnerable and safe. On this day, I remind myself that being resilient, tolerating abuse is not the way I want to live my life. I can relax and trust safe people.
Colt (02:56.984)
Grown up in dysfunctional family myself, I have been able to tolerate a lot of bullshit and you don’t have to, I don’t have to. This self-differentiation process is a lot of courage, takes a lot of courage, takes a lot of trust, takes a lot of self-compassion. If I can do it, you can do it. It’s a one day at a time process. Take care.
